


Fear

by Daenarii



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Jaal's POV, M/M, basically i was just upset at how impersonal this scene was if you brought along a romanced jaal, so i fixed it My Damn Self, so kind of pre-confession kind of not, takes place during Hunting the Archon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 20:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daenarii/pseuds/Daenarii
Summary: Jaal hadn't thought there was a scarier thought than infiltrating the Archon's flagship.He's proven wrong.





	Fear

The containment field that restrains Jaal feels like steel pressing in on all sides, forcing him into the air and holding his wrists together. He immediately growls and fights against it, but with no luck. When he sees Scott and Liam similarly restrained, he feels even more agitated.

When the Archon shows his hideous face, Jaal fights even harder against his restraints, determined to end this war here and now. He struggles all the more when the Archon grabs Scott's chin, injects something in the back of his neck--to no avail. He is well and truly stuck.

Once the Archon has left to go investigate the salarians, Jaal immediately strains to get out, “Ryder? What did he do to you? Are you alright?”

“Never better,” Scott replies through gritted teeth. “Just wanna punch him in the face a few extra times now. SAM?”

“The Archon injected a biological transmitter into your bloodstream, Pathfinder,” SAM supplies. “I am attempting to neutralize it.”

“Okay, that's definitely priority two right now,” Scott says. “What about this containment field?”

“The containment field only interacts with living matter,” SAM says. “If you expire, the field around you would extinguish until manually reset.”

Jaal feels his stomach swoop at that, but before he can respond, Scott answers. “So if all of my living processes stop, I go free. Can you do that, SAM?”

“My access to your physiology allows me to enhance your vital signals when required, Pathfinder,” SAM says. “I can also do the opposite.”

“Ryder,” Jaal growls, unable to keep silent. “There must be another option.”

“There is not,” SAM says, and Jaal has the urge to punch the AI.

“It's okay, Jaal,” Scott says, and it seems like he's trying to strain to look back at him. “I trust SAM. He'll bring me back.”

“What if he isn't able to?” Jaal asks, fear making him speak quickly. “Ryder, this plan is too dangerous to do without consideration.”

“I'm with Jaal,” Liam puts in, and Jaal is grateful. “This is crazy, Ryder. You can't just _die_.”

“We don't have any alternatives,” Scott stresses. “I don't like it any more than you two do, but we _need_ to get that relic, and to help the salarians.”

“Ryder,” Jaal protests gently, “Scott, please. I do not like this. The thought of losing you--”

“Jaal.” Scott interrupts, but Jaal doesn't think he would've been able to continue anyway. “I trusted your judgment with Akksul. Trust mine with this. Okay?”

Jaal feels a war inside of himself. He trusts Scott--of _course_ he does--but...he isn't ready to lose him, and that very well may happen. But Scott is right; watching Akksul wave a gun in Jaal's face likely hadn't been easy, but Scott had let Jaal handle it. Jaal is reminded of an idiom he’d come across while researching human culture; trust is a two-way street. It isn’t fair for Jaal to ask Scott to trust him without affording him that same privilege.

Jaal inhales deeply before he says, “Okay. I trust you, Ryder.”

“What, seriously?” Liam asks. “Just like that? Really?”

“It'll be okay, Liam,” Scott says. “Just watch. It's gonna be cool as hell.”

“Right, yeah,” Liam says, though his tone is sarcastic. “I just have to watch my best friend _die_ right in front of me. No big deal. Happens all the time.”

“It isn't the first time,” Scott says, then inhales deeply. “Okay. SAM, do it.”

“Stopping your heart...now,” SAM replies. The AI is far too calm--Jaal can feel nerves sparking in his gut, across his face, as he keeps his gaze riveted on Scott.

After a few moments, Scott falls to the floor, the containment field blinking out of existence around him. When Jaal catches sight of Scott’s lifeless eyes behind the visor, he feels the urge to shout--but he refuses. Scott will be fine. SAM wouldn't allow any harm to come to him. He wishes the thought soothed the red-hot panic in his chest.

“Stimulating the cardiovascular core,” SAM's voice chimes. Jaal holds his breath, staring expectantly down at Scott's body. He isn't a religious man, but he finds himself half-muttering a prayer in his own mind to whoever will listen.

“Zero activity,” SAM says, deadly calm, and Jaal feels his throat constrict around the _no_ that he wants to force out, a thousand times over again.

“Uh,” Liam says. “SAM?”

“I am working on it,” SAM answers. It might just be wishful thinking, but Jaal thinks he can hear some panic in the AI's voice. “Stimulating the cardiovascular core.”

Jaal can feel himself vibrating with anticipation as he stares at Scott. He's willing him to get up, at any moment now--his lips will stretch into a grin as he makes his way over to the console, making a smart quip, as he tells Jaal he was worried over nothing.

“Zero activity,” SAM repeats.

Jaal growls, fear and desperation and helplessness making an unpleasant cocktail in the back of his throat. “SAM, if you don't bring him back, I _swear_ I'll--”

“I will,” SAM insists. “Please be patient. Stimulating the cardiovascular core.”

Jaal stares at Scott’s body again, gnawing on his lower lip. He wants to hold out hope, to be optimistic, but--Scott isn’t moving. SAM never has to try multiple times to do something, so why now? Why with this? They’re so close to unlocking the secrets of the Remnant and maybe defeating the Kett, and Scott is going to die _now_?

Jaal doesn’t want to turn morbid, but he can’t stop his mind’s next thoughts. If they somehow get back to the Tempest alive--unlikely, given their current predicament, but if--they’ll have to break the news to the rest of the crew. Who will take up the mantle of Pathfinder? Cora, maybe? She _had_ trained for it. But Jaal doesn’t want to imagine anyone else in Scott’s place, making decisions that are Scott’s to make. Would his successor be able to live up to what he’s done, both for the Initiative and the angara?

SAM hasn’t spoken, and Jaal is sure that it’s been longer than the prior two attempts. Scott still hasn’t moved. Has SAM given up? Would he do that without saying anything? For the millionth time in the past few minutes, Jaal wishes he could tear out of this containment field and--

There’s a loud gasp, and Scott rockets into a seated position. Jaal feels the tension in his chest collapse, and he can’t keep the relieved sigh from escaping his lips. Scott groans, falling back on his elbows.

“I’ve died twice now,” Scott says, voice strained. “And I gotta say, still not a fan.”

“It could be worse,” Liam laughs, voice bordering on hysteria. “Jeez, Ryder, you had me real worried.”

“What was there to worry about?” Scott asks, slowly pushing himself up. “I told you it’d be fine.” He turns to face them once he’s at the console, a grin tugging at his mouth.

Jaal had planned to stand his ground, to wait to celebrate Scott’s presence until they were back on the Tempest and safe--but that smile obliterates his willpower. He had been convinced he wouldn’t see it again. Scott presses a button on the console, and as soon as Jaal’s feet are on the floor again, he’s making his way to Scott.

Once he’s close enough, Jaal reaches forward to cup Scott’s face in both his hands, leaning his head forward to press their foreheads together. He continues to meet Scott’s blue gaze, unwilling to stop looking at the life in his eyes quite yet.

“It’s okay, Jaal,” Scott murmurs. Jaal vaguely registers one of Scott’s hands rising to curl around his own, focused entirely on his face. “I’m fine.”

“I know,” Jaal mutters. “But I was afraid. You were so _still_.”

“I’m sorry,” Scott says. “I’m not trying to make a habit of it.” He lifts his other hand to cup Jaal’s face, rubbing his thumb under the scar on Jaal’s cheek, the corner of his mouth lifting a little. “I’m not ready to die yet.”

Jaal slides his eyes shut, relief blooming in his chest. He had known that, of course--but it reassures him to hear. If Scott is not ready to die, he won’t. He, like many humans, can be incredibly stubborn.

Jaal continues standing like that, listening to Scott’s quiet breathing for a moment more, before he opens his eyes again and moves away. “Good,” he says, smiling at Scott. “Then let’s be off. The sooner we get the relic, the sooner we can leave this forsaken ship.”

As they move on, Jaal keeps stealing glances towards Scott, to ensure he’s really alright. Jaal isn’t sure if he’s okay with how fragile life is--but he resolves to celebrate his time with Scott more once they’re out of the Archon’s hands.


End file.
